I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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