rhymes with "ouble enetration"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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