the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
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He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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