made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
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Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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