Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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