Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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