my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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