my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize