Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
