Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
