Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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