Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
