Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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