i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize