just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
