Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
