Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
