The maid of honor just puked.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Everyone says I win the strip club
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
