Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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