Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you win again, gameday.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
