porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
