great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
