u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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