i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
