sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
