I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
