ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
