you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
