so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize