I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize