HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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