when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
