just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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