"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
