I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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