end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
