Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize