when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
