dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
