I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the day after is always just damage control
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
