the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
