look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think your dad took our porno
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
