There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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