I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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