So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize