ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
As shirtless as possible
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize