apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
