i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
