You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize