Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
