He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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