We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
vagina is talking i cant
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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