Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
