Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
