Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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