There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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