Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
