I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize