fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
